


Midnight Pomegranate

by kaliforniabird



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: F/M, Family, Friendship, Healing, PTSD, Romance, trigger warning: sexual assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:28:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaliforniabird/pseuds/kaliforniabird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was his best friend, and he let her down. It was all his fault. He just wasn't strong enough. And she had to suffer for it. How could she ever forgive him? Rin blames himself when Shiemi is raped and it seems like nothing will ever seem okay again. Will Rin ever be forgiven? And will he ever find a way to help?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Trust Me

Part 1: Don't trust me

Thunder roiled in the darkening night sky as their weapons clashed, the two sparring teens too focused to exchange words—only blows.

Cerulean flames reflected in Moriyama Shiemi's eyes as she quickly summoned a shield of entwining undergrowth. Despite the added aid of Nii-chan, her spritely green familiar, Shiemi was beginning to feel the effects of the long, difficult fight. Her figure visibly drooped with weariness and fatigue, but still she persevered through the shear will to become stronger—and, well, that added bonus helped to motivate her…

Meanwhile, Okumura Rin grinned, enjoying himself. The blonde was getting better.  _That's a certainty,_ Rin thought. She no longer ran pointlessly about the terrain in a futile attempt to escape his blue fire. She held her ground now, occasionally sprinting or leaping away from the untamed energy of Satan's spawn.

As of the moment, she was desperately holding up against his flames, and he instantly recognized that she was wearing down. Rin may not have been book-smart, or even common sense-smart for that matter, but he was aware enough in battle to take notice of certain things, especially when it came to friends. And right now, Rin knew that since the blonde was no longer daring to counterattack as she'd tentatively ventured to before, that must mean she was nearing the end of her limits.

"So much the better for me!" he cried.

After all, it was all a matter of time for him. From the very beginning, Rin knew that the would-be Tamer couldn't beat him at her current level.  _Don't get me wrong_ , he silently amended, suddenly ashamed of his egotistic thoughts,  _she's still a great sparring partner. Shiemi's really strong. In fact, she's held out longer than I expected…_

He respected Shiemi deeply, for even though she was running off the last dregs of her stamina, her protective shield was a complex pattern of hardy wood that did not burn nor break easily, and Rin silently praised her for this. However, that alone wouldn't cut it should Rin actually decide to use his  _Kurikara_ sword.

And, well, that was precisely what he planned on doing. Why drag this out any longer than it had to be? It was only a matter of time, and after all, he shrugged, this was just a practice fight in order for them to do just that—practice in order to get stronger. And it had been a great workout.

"Time to cut it short though." Rin's deep blue eyes flashed mischievously and he reached behind him to draw his sleek blade, just as the first few drops of unheeded rain began to fall. He gripped the weapon in full preparation to swing.

A breathless gasp was abruptly heard in the distance, but not by the two Exwires. The lone figure, hidden in the dark atop the clock tower, had been previously sitting dully there, bored out of his mind as he observed the fight below. But now, the persona leaned forward rapt with attention and sudden piqued interest at the prospect of the  _Kurikara_ sword being drawn from its sealing scabbard. The single-membered audience sat on edge and bit his thumbnail anxiously as he watched sapphire flames bloom on the silver blade glinting in the moonlight.

The sudden echo of the clock tower's ending hour toll startled Shiemi from her concentration on Rin. But then she hastily returned her attention back to her surroundings once she realized she had no idea where Rin even was.

"Shiemi, sorry!" She heard a voice shout, and the poor girl raised her head in surprise to witness the previously missing boy hovering in the sky feet above her head, the glare of his blue inferno finally registering in her mind at the last minute as he came crashing through the air towards her.

Too shocked to move, Shiemi sat there stupidly, unable to dodge as her barrier shattered uselessly around her. Rin's brute strength and heat from the flames easily rendered it to ashes. When these flakes fluttered in the wind that washed about her, the would-be Tamer then realized the lost hope of winning the battle.

In that same moment she accepted it with great sportsmanship and honor, knowing that she would only get stronger from the loss. Shiemi sighed in disappointment. All the same, she had lost the bet, and now it was time to pay up the consequences. She thought back to the conversation she'd had with the demon boy previous to the duel.

" _R-Rin," she'd stuttered nervously, refusing to avoid eye contact with aforementioned boy. She blushed, in spite of the fact that Rin's back was to her._

 _Shiemi had gathered up the courage to attempt to improve her fighting skills at last. Enough was enough. She had decided after a few too many defeats on her side in recent battles with relatively low-grade demons to do something about her weaknesses in order to be able to fully participate in fights. Shiemi wanted to be able to back up friends and_  not _sit in the background uselessly while they did all the fighting and protecting._

 _Despite her trepidation at asking Rin for help, she'd figured he'd be the best person to train with—she hadn't known anyone too well to have them assist her in this way. Besides, everyone she_ did  _know who would take the time to train would go soft on her._

_Rin had turned to look at her in pleasant surprise at her utterance, giving her his full attention, a light of curiosity sparking in his royal blue eyes. He hadn't seemed to take notice of her inner turmoil at that moment. "Shiemi? What is it?"_

Rin wouldn't go soft on me,  _Shiemi had thought_.  _Rin would understand and take it easy enough on her, but challenge her without holding back too much. He was the only logical person to ask._

And, well, Yuki-chan's busy off doing errands and a mission or two.

_She'd flushed a deeper shade of red at the thought of Yukio. Shiemi was shy, and she constantly cursed herself for being so, but that hadn't deterred her desire to get stronger. So she had pursed her lips stubbornly in rebellion at her abashed nature and bowed her head abruptly in order to hide her strained expression._

" _I want you to help me get stronger! Will you train with me?!" Er, she hadn't meant to shout, but she was just so caught up in her feelings she didn't really notice._

_Rin had stared at her in amazement, but had soon enough found himself smiling gently at her. "Sure."_

_The blonde's head had perked up at that, and she'd met his eyes at last. She had squeaked at the expression she'd found that appeared soon afterwards on his face._

" _Of course," Rin had added. He was going to feel terrible for doing this later, but for now Rin had wanted to have some fun with this while he was at it. "There is a price."_

" _H-huh? W-what price is that? I can get you some herbs for cooking or something…if that's what you want…" Shiemi had stammered, confused._

" _Nah, as tempting as that is…I want to make a bet."_

" _A bet?"_

" _Yeah. If you win, you get to take me to the carnival. But if you lose…" An ominous look had unexpectedly loomed over his face. "_ Then you have to give me a foot rub. _"_

 _She'd shivered at the words, but it wasn't so bad a proposition. After all, it couldn't be so terrible to massage someone's feet. And Rin's couldn't possibly be_ too  _horrible…_

_Of course, it would be so fun to take Rin to the carnival and eat cotton candy and ride on the amusement park rides…_

_It hadn't really occurred to her that the rascal probably set it up so that he got an award either way. However, Rin had made the deal so that it was a more pleasant award to share the fun between them should she win and so Shiemi'd overlook that fact. Besides, she'd always wanted to go to a carnival while there were other people around, but she couldn't possibly go alone. And anyways, had she known what Rin's plan was, or heard his guilty thoughts, she would have forgiven him with ease. She was_ mostly _in this for the training…_

"Well, it would've been nice to win and go to that carnival, but that's okay. I got a lot out of today's fight," the girl bespoke to herself. "I hope his feet aren't that terrible."

Just as she was wearily brought back to reality and wondering where on Earth Rin had gone, she had the bad luck of looking up too late and spotting the white-shirted chest that quickly pinned her back to the mud. They each grunted in pain at the fall that had them tangled in each others' limbs.

"Ouch…"

"Ow…"

Shiemi felt the uncomfortable sensation of sinking into the ground, the mud staining her clothes and getting her filthy head to toe. The blonde was slightly irritated that Rin should have caused this dilemma, but she was prepared to forgive him just the same (as always). After all, it was an accident, right?

Too easily these idle thoughts slipped away when she realized their close proximity, and all the penalties that came with that fact, such as the way her senses oddly tingled, hyperaware of his very presence.

His chest pressed against hers, and Shiemi could feel his heart hammering against her own frantic one. Her breathing increased dramatically; it seemed as if his chest was crushing hers now, but strangely, she didn't mind...

She shook her head forcefully at the insane thoughts, her skull knocking into something. It was then she noticed how his bare arms boxed in her head—and how one of his knees happened to land in between her legs when his knee brushed hers in response. This pose made her blush. Usually, just the idea of someone being so close down  _there_ would make her squirm quite uncomfortably, but her limbs were trapped, and she couldn't move.

The blonde felt warm breath on her face that made her shiver peculiarly. Rin's face was so utterly  _close_ to hers. She could see every detail in his dark sapphire eyes and count the black lashes, graze his expressive lips—

She was blushing even more heavily then, her mind scrambling for her to say something,  _something_. Something to divert the awkwardness of their positions, to get rid of the blushes that steadily consumed both of their faces in a rush of full comprehension of the situation.

"R-Rin…?" Shiemi finally managed to stammer out, somewhat frustrated that her voice came out so weak and choked-sounding. Not that she could help it. Her hormones were screaming at her, something she had rarely, if ever, experienced before. The girl's eyes widened slightly at wonderment for her emotions—that her instincts wanted for Shiemi to stay this way beneath the dark-haired Exwire, staring up at his blue eyes and take in his natural scent of musk, the sweet odor of ashes and something all-together  _good_ that she just couldn't really name. She wanted to stay that way forever beneath him. However, these thoughts were not rational, and not only that, but she felt the stiffness of her friend's muscles above and panicked slightly at the probability that he was uncomfortable with their closeness in a way she wasn't—that he didn't like being near to her like that at all. In order to confirm this suspicion, her eyes searched his face for any hint that affirmed her despairs.

"Rin?" Her silvery eyebrows pulled together in distress.

Rin quietly looked down at her. He wasn't quiet out of calmness, that was for damn sure. He was spinning, his mind all jumbled and confused at the situation on their hands. At her timid voice he managed to gain the rationality to make himself move away from her.

Goddammit! He had just made things incredibly awkward for them. And poor Shiemi—the girl had been trapped underneath Rin like a prisoner who wanted nothing more than to escape his clutches, and he had just sat there like an idiot. She was probably disgusted with him now; it was obvious from the way she had stood up so fast and stayed as far away as possible from him. Her nervous fidgeting rang true on his conscience, and he guiltily scratched the back of his head, at a loss for words, those of apology or comfort escaping him, and he damned himself for this.

"Erm…" he muttered, not sure where to start or how to express himself.

An awkward silence passed between them, both unwilling to express in words what had just taken place. It tormented the poor boy, really. It killed Rin to see that the girl he cared for was uncomfortable in a way he was not, and altogether it made him feel horrible and foolish in a way he'd never felt before.

"Rin, you idiot! You cheated!" Shiemi's words took him by surprise and he stared at her, confused.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You cheated! You're so mean, Rin!" she accused, pausing for deep breath. "You're supposed to train me, not overpower me! Hmph!" The petite girl huffed and crossed her arms, turning up her nose for emphasis.

Rin, still overwhelmingly confused to speak, simply stared at Shiemi, his creased eyebrows pleading for understanding at her unexpected behavior. He searched her face for any sign, any clue, to what she was talking about. The only result was the stubbornness that he so loved hardening her eyes, the angry checkmarks for eyebrows conveying frustration, and the slight flare to her nostrils, all obvious indicators of her suddenly bad mood.

But then what caught his gaze was the way one small corner of her mouth turned up in a good-humored smile and the obvious wink she aimed at him.

Rin let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. She was distracting him and perhaps herself from the prospect of discussing the unwanted subject of their fall, and he gave a gentle grin in return. She softened at the expression, which made his chest feel funny.

He ignored the sensation, smirking playfully. "I really wanted that foot rub. Ha, better prepare yourself for the fungus down  _there_."

She sniffed haughtily and a discontented expression shown on her usually sweet face. "But I really wanted to go to the carnival! Come on, Rin! That's no fair!"

The dark-haired Exwire laughed smugly at her comment. "It's not my fault I won the bet. And well, I already agreed to going to the carnival with you before this, so that option wasn't valid anyways."

"But aren't you the one who suggested it…?"

He snorted, pouting irritably. "Yeah, so? Calling me an idiot?"

"Huh…?" She seemed at a loss for words.

Good humor returned to Rin at this display, and he steadily took notice of the rain that had long before drenched them both.

Shiemi followed his gaze and glanced down at her soaked self, moaning, or rather whimpering, at the tragic state of her school uniform.

"My mom is going to be mad at me…" she said dejectedly as she reached into her pocket and searched for her key that "magically" bridged her home to the school. "Oh no!" she exclaimed, tears welling up thickly in her eyes. "I must've left my key at cram school!"

"That's okay, I have mi—" His sentence was cut off as he felt around in his back pocket for his key, but found to his dismay that it wasn't indeed there. So then the dark-haired teen began to turn his jeans' pockets inside-out, only to find them empty as well.

_What the hell? I knew for a fact that they were in there before!_

"Yeah, never mind. I lied. I lost mine too I guess. Shit," he sighed angrily. "Guess you could always wait in my dorm," Rin added half-heartedly, the cold precipitation already ruining his mood.

"Oh, could I? Would that be okay, Rin?"

The Exwire started slightly at this, but then shook off his surprise at gazing into her blue-green orbs and finding that she was desperate. He grinned at her then, and they trudged heavily in their wet clothes to his empty dorm room, which was on the opposite side of the campus.

The mysterious figure followed.

* * *

Disclaimer:  _Ao no Exorcist (Blue Exorcist)-_ Kazue Kato

 


	2. What Hurts the Most

Part 2: What hurts the most

Once safely inside the warm building, Rin began to contemplate their current sopping states. It wouldn't be fair for him to change and for Shiemi to remain in her thoroughly soaked clothes. However, he knew should they stay in their drenched attire, they could possibly become ill. So, the raven-haired demon pondered his options carefully, knowing full well that once one decision was made, there was no going back on it.

So, it wasn't until a little while later when he decided it would be better to risk the embarrassment of sharing his clothes with her if it meant avoiding pneumonia.

"Shiemi," he began, his tail twitching nervously as he did so.

"Hmm?" she replied, her voice filled with innocence that made Rin regret what he was going to ask of her.

He swallowed hard and blushed. "Um, I think it'd be better for our health that we change clothes. You can borrow mine, so… I'll go get them!"

As Rin spun around to retrieve the clothing, Shiemi attempted to speak, though he could tell that she was blushing heavily and was extremely abashed. The blonde was trying to protest.

"No, really, I don't wanna get you sick. It's better that we get dry and warm." And then he was gone, presumably digging through his dresser drawers searching for suitable clothing for them both. He did this while Shiemi waited agitatedly outside.

In his room, Rin shuffled around while attempting to find comfortable or warm clothes for himself and smaller apparel for the shorter Shiemi. The latter of these wishes was much more difficult to fulfill when he realized that he had taken any collection of smaller clothing or stretchy garments for exercise to the laundry and was currently washing them.

Rin growled at himself in frustration.  _Dammit_ , he thought.  _Why me?_  The teenager scratched at his scalp, willing himself to find an alternative attire for the girl waiting outside to wear.

"Ah, to hell with it. She'll wear this and like it. Hopefully it'll fit," Rin conceded, snatching the biggest shirt he could find.

At last, the boy had found, um, appropriate clothing for them, selecting a T-shirt and a pair of ripped sweatpants for himself and a large long-sleeved shirt and nice thick socks for her.

Shiemi reddened even more at the sight of her outfit, along with Rin.

He scratched the back of his neck apologetically. "It was the best I could find for you."

Shiemi shook her head, smiling. "No, no, it's fine. What you're doing is sweet, Rin. You're a great friend."

He dipped his head in attempt to hide his tomato-tinted face. "Nah…I'm just…" he mumbled incoherently.

"Um, I'll go change in the bathroom." She jogged off.

Rin pushed a pale hand through his shaggy locks anxiously before he, too, quickly went to swap his clothing. He locked his door to Yukio's and his bedroom and hurriedly changed, stumbling a few times at endeavoring to pull on his pants or socks. When he accomplished this, he pursed his lips in anticipation and reached for his doorknob.

To his immense surprise, Shiemi was waiting for him when he opened the door, and, however, was too close and so he accidentally hit her smack backwards.

"Ow, ow, ow…" she mumbled. The petite thing rubbed at her forehead to soothe the pain.

Rin muttered a string of curses as he finally got to gaze at  _her_ , realizing that the shirt didn't cover up as much as he'd originally thought. If Shiemi didn't stand up completely straight, he could see a glimpse of her underwear.

Which, of course, was showing now.

_Dammit, Rin! Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look!_

As he failed to do this, he helped her up with a reach of his hand and pulled her up. He did this as he ahem,  _attempted_ , to cover his eyes with one hand. When she was completely standing once more, he removed it warily.

Shiemi thanked him for his kindness and began to walk forward to the stairway. He followed suit, giving her a once over for what he told himself was to check for wounds, but that purpose was quickly abandoned as he found none and yet continued to scan her.

Rin's socks sagged about her ankles, making them seem slimmer and he fought hard not to stare at her nearly half-naked appearance. He failed to keep his eyes off of her, though, and soon came to indulge himself in finding cute little details about the shy female Exwire, such as the way the shirt drooped about her shoulders or how her sleeves hid her small hands. The boy licked his lips subconsciously at her bare neck, revealed now because of the fact that her platinum hair was pulled back into a bouncy high ponytail. He then remembered that he had lent her his silver clip to tie back her sopping bangs, and so yanked on her wrist to prompt her to turn around for him to better see her glowing face, a shiny blush alighting about her features.

But then what really made time freeze were her eyes, which were a wonderful mixture of liquid silver, frigid jade and clear blue. They were sparkling now in the fluorescent lights, tilted to fully absorb the brightness of them so as to gaze up at him.

"Rin…?" she asked, her voice like a clear, but soft piano note.

Her pretty, thin pale eyebrows pulled together, somewhat ruining the illusion in Rin's mind, causing him to focus on the moment in reality.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and released her. He shadowed his face with his disheveled bangs, pretending to readjust the towel atop his head with one hand, and stalked away to his shared bedroom, knowing she'd follow him and warm up in there instead of at the kitchen stove downstairs like they'd originally planned.

This is where they sat, curled up in borrowed blankets, sipping contentedly at their mugs of hot water and steaming tea.

"Do you think…that maybe, um…that this weekend we could go to the carnival?" Shiemi ventured to ask, and Rin snickered good-naturedly at her attempt. But finding himself the object of attention and coming to full comprehension of what she had asked, he stiffened, unsure of how to answer.

He shrugged, trying to act aloof. "Uh-huh. Y-Yeah. That'd be cool."

She smiled brilliantly at this. Rin found himself mimicking her.

They continued on to talk about school, Shiemi's garden and mother, Yukio, and of many other small things. Occasionally, though, they would pause to glance out at the grey world out the window and silently collect their thoughts. At one point, on the other hand, an awkward moment followed after the blonde's comment of thanks for the shelter and clothing. This ensued for an abnormally long time on Rin's part, so it was finally broken when the bashful Shiemi spoke once more.

"Is there something the matter, Rin?"

"No," he muttered heatedly, more to himself than her. Dammit, he couldn't say his perverted thoughts of her out loud now!

She flushed, shifting slightly in her blankets. She seemed apologetic. "I'm sorry. Did I do something or say something wrong? This is the first time I've worn a boy's clothes. I guess I'm just not used to it. I'm sorry."

Rin shook his head. "No, no, you're fine. In fact, this isn't the first time I've lent a girl my shirt or anything. Yeah, just ask Izumo. She'll tell you. Of course, she wasn't wearing much, so it wasn't like I had much of a choice…"

Then he realized what he'd just said and mentally damned himself.

_Shit! Why did I just say that?! Dammit!_

And he could see its effects were devastating towards Shiemi, as she hunkered down low in her blankets, blushing madly, her brows scrunched heavily together. And when she peered up to glance out the window, her eyes shone with tears.

"That's not what I meant! I mean, I did mean it! I mean, ah, dammit! Shiemi, what I meant was that it isn't what it sounds like, trust me! I just…" he faltered as she stayed silent for a moment.

Her expression was completely false and wrong as she turned back to smile at him, closed-lipped.

"It's okay, Okumura-kun. I'm gonna go wash up in the bathroom. Then I have to go. So, I guess see ya!"

"Shiemi, wait! Wait, dammit!"

But it was already too late, for she'd disentangled herself from her blankets before him and already had a good head start ahead of him.

Rin didn't stop though. He shouted after her, cursing all the while.

"Shiemi!  _Wait!_ Wait for me! Let me explain!  _Hey!_ "

"Just-just let me be, Rin!" she hiccupped.

"No! Listen to me!" he refused.

Rin was very fast now from all of his extra training, not to mention that he wasn't exactly completely human either. He was gaining ground on her little by little and tensed himself for an opening to catch her.

At the last possible second Shiemi's foot caught in her too-large sock and she tripped. He took the chance and dived after her small form, landing a tad sloppily on top of her. Rin swiftly grabbed hold of her wrists and pinned her knees together with his own as he leaned over her.

"Shiemi just listen to me for one second and…"

He trailed off. He silently watched a bauble of clear liquid fall through the air and to the floor between them, a pained expression pinching his face. His eyes traced the curving tears that flowed steadily down the contours of Shiemi's upturned face, her cheeks pink with shame, her eyes squeezed shut to block out the sight of him. Her attempt to stifle the gasping sobs issuing from her gaping mouth.

"Let me go…please, Rin, just let me go…" The words shook as they left her lips.

For some reason, he found himself obeying her, pulling back slowly off of her. And for a minute or an hour or for a time, he didn't know how long, they just sat there, her crying softly on the ground, he staring stunned at her, unsure of what to say or do.

Only when she managed to stand up and make a break for the bathroom and proceed to slam the door did the spell over Rin break and he was able to move.

He rocketed to the door, stumbling as he did so.  _Just another step!_

Rin caught himself in time, so close as to have the bathroom door slammed too close to his face. He ignored the smarts that stung down from his forehead to his chin.

Rin rapped several times, hard, on the door.

"Leave me alone!" Shiemi snapped, though her voice was muffled and choked with sobs.

"Shiemi! Listen to me, please! I'm sorry! Please come out! I'm really sorry! Please!" Rin begged.

"No! I'm not coming out! Just leave me be, Rin! Just…just…" she trailed off, or rather broke off due to her sobs and cries.

Shiemi wasn't one to usually cry, and when she did, she usually kept her tears in check well enough. And so Rin knew that he'd hurt her horribly and was at that point willing to rip out his heart and bleed for her, he felt so terrible and guilt-ridden and shameful of himself.

"Shiemi! Shiemi! Open the door or I'm knocking it down! I'm gonna count to three…" he panicked.

"Just leave me alone." Her voice was quieter now. He had to strain his pointed ears to hear her. "Leave me alone. I hate you. Leave me alone."

She was broken. He had hurt her. She wanted to hurt him. To break him, too.

And now he had. She had disheartened him. It had only taken three words, words that burned like the fire that couldn't hurt him—she had reopened scars of childhood, and suddenly he resented her for it.

" _I hate you."_ Just those three words she had spoken, and already he felt defeated and so very alone and helpless.

He left.

* * *

When the silence and inaction on his end was realized by Shiemi, she sobbed harder. He'd given up on her, and that hurt. The girl was fragile, but stubborn. Didn't he know that? Didn't he realize that?

Maybe not. She doubted him now, especially because of his comment about Izumo. It bothered her that he used her name familiarly like he did with her, but what was worse was that he'd insinuated that he'd seen her naked or something. She wasn't so sure she had misunderstood him after all, despite all her hoping and praying.

_It really does explain why though that she was being so nice to him after everyone found out he was the offspring of Satan._

She bit her lip, hiccupping. She clutched at her chest where her heart ached and throbbed painfully. She wanted to die right now.

_I hate you._

The blonde sobbed harder.

* * *

 _Ao no Exorcist/ Blue Exorcist-_ Kazue Kato


	3. Something

Part 3: Something

The silhouette of a person had watched with interest at the whole little scene that had played out between the girl and boy, toying with the stolen keys in his hand.

_Okumura Rin, you're so very interesting._

The figure bit at his thumbnail, thinking. He had taken the  _Kamikakushi_ keys easily while Satan's son had been distracted by the human girl. From there it was just improvisation, watching said half-demon and girl from a distance and trying to come up with a way to goad the teenaged boy into a fight with him. Other than the excitement over the power the boy gained when he drew the _Koumaken_  sword, the fight between the Okumura boy and the human girl was utterly boring. He'd almost given up when it'd started raining and the two retreated indoors, but on further investigation, he'd uncovered a particular weakness that the teen boy had. He had grinned to himself then, ready to make his next move and carry out his sinister scheme. It was simple enough, his new plan. He'd gathered enough information from those soap operas he'd watched on human television to know what was going on between the two teens. He also knew how to attract Okumura's attention and to crush the girl, whom he'd gathered to be named Shiemi and a very weak human indeed. It was curious and strange to him as to why Okumura would choose to have such a useless human as his friend.

He shrugged.

Oh well.

"This should be fun. Especially toying with that girl. Heh."

A smirk played on his lips as he silently accessed the bathroom through the window.

* * *

Had Shiemi not been preoccupied with her confusing emotions, she might've sensed that she was being watched. For instance, the hairs on the back of her neck would have stood up, and she'd feel that primal instinctive fear to run, fight, or hide. If not that, then she would've heard the long fingernails prying open the window on the opposite side, felt the night breeze and storm brewing outside and investigated the source at a moment's notice. However, this was not the case, and so she was ultimately frightened out of her mind when she discovered she was no longer alone in the bathroom.

The figure had tapped his booted foot once to gain her attention and she then noticed that on closer inspection, someone was standing in front of her, and that, as she averted her gaze upwards, she remembered whom this person, or rather demon, was.

Amaimon stood over her, completely calm save for the restrained spark of excitement and perhaps insanity in his eyes.

The poor girl gave a frightened shriek at his horribly unexpected appearance and tried to crawl away from him, scared to the point of hyperventilating. Shiemi knew he was watching her with growing disgust at her pathetic attempt to escape. She glanced over her shoulder to see just how far she'd made it away from him, convinced that if only she were far enough away—

But then he was no longer standing, but instead, simultaneously flipping her onto her back and pinning her down, kneeling over her, his pallid face looming too close to hers. He leaned in even closer, to Shiemi's immediate horror, only to whisper terribly in her ear. She cringed as he did so, the tears pouring out faster then.

" _Do you remember me?"_

"Y-You…" Her voice was tight in her throat. She was so scared. She was shaking so much and couldn't stop.  _Oh, please, someone…help!_

_If only—if only I can get away—no. I can't. I need help. I can't fight him! Someone, help me please! I'm not strong enough!_

The green-haired demon reached forward and clenched her silvery bangs in his fist, knocking aside her borrowed hair clip. The Earth King yanked her head savagely back, looking at her with the coldest face. Her eyes closed in anguish and her thoughts turned desperate. Oh, if only someone could help!

And then she thought,  _wasn't_ there someone who could help her?

… _Rin, can you save me…?_ Her eyes peeped open, a last hope shining in her wet orbs. She threw her head to the side in an attempt to throw off Amaimon's hand, a last effort to escape. She flinched when the demon slapped her as hard as it seemed he could, leaving a red welt across her cheek and a couple of sore loose teeth. So much for that.

 _Please! Forgive me—I need you, Rin! I can't do this alone! You're the only one who can help me—as my friend who I can always trust. Just please_ help  _me_ , Rin _!_

It didn't matter how things were between the two Exwires at that moment—Rin had always been her friend, would always be her friend. That wouldn't change. It was because he had always been there for her, to save her, to help her, to make her laugh, to make her smile. Even when she'd cried, been hurt, he'd been there to try and make it better. Every spare memory she'd had of him, he was there like sunshine and warmth and hope. Rin was her good friend, a friend she could confide in and trust. Despite their circumstances now, she still saw him as thus. And she would always count on him to save her and be her hero.

Now despair shone in her pale eyes as they wavered with blinding salt tears and fear for what was to come.

_Rin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

Shiemi took the deepest breath she could manage and screamed at the top of her lungs, "RIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN!"

The Earth King laughed maniacally, causing Shiemi to cower. His warm breath buffeted the sensitive skin behind her ear and down her soft neck, making her shiver and temporarily stopping her frightened shaking.

"He's not coming. Not for you. Save your breath, little human."

"No…" she sobbed. "No…he can't…"

"Yes…you'll feel much better to accept it. Why do you humans always create false hopes for yourselves? It's pointless and it makes me  _sick._ " Amaimon's normally emotionless voice dipped down a few octaves in anger at the last word, and this prompted a fighting reaction from the girl beneath him, who began to struggle futilely against the demon's gargantuan strength. It was a half-hearted attempt at best, and he told her so, too.

"You stood no chance against me when you weren't exhausted like you are now. You stand less of a chance now. You don't even have the energy to summon your familiar." He paused here, seeming to contemplate something amusing. "Though I find it intriguing that you should use my affinity. In which case, you would find that I could turn every little trick you had up your sleeve against you. But perhaps your abilities are of use yet to me? Maybe I could suck up your soul and steal your powers—" She twisted savagely at this "—or I could make you my Queen. Hmm…yes…this would certainly be an interesting idea. I just might consider it. But first I would need to Mark you as mine so that your soul would belong to me and me alone." Amaimon leered at her dangerously at this new development, stilling her in her thrashing.

After a few moments of her ceased movements, she quietly asked, "What do you want? You want something from Rin, don't you? What do you need me for? Why can't you leave me alone? Leave  _him_  alone!"

This caused the demon prince to pause, creasing his small eyebrows in deep thought. "My, so many questions! Why, I need you for my plans to get to Okumura-kun. However, you certainly are an interesting piece of work. Hmm…what should I do with you?"

But then he answered his own question after a moment. "Oh, I know!" His look darkened and contorted with evil mirth.

" _Let's have some fun, Shiemi."_

* * *

Rin sat in his room, his head buried in his hands. The hormonal teen was caught up in his web of complex emotions and he loathed himself for it. He hated himself, now, at the moment. He had hurt Shiemi badly, and she even said she hated him.

Unbeknownst to the boy, bits and flickers of his aggravated azure flames sparked here and there around him, tainting the air as he sat in self-pity. Had he known, he wouldn't have cared anyways. Everything was already a mess, and he couldn't even fix it, and life was being an absolute bitch to him.

He couldn't just explain himself away out of this. Rin knew better than that, and so did Shiemi. He was sorry and sad and didn't know how to convey these thoughts of grief and frustration to Shiemi, how much he wanted to make it up to her. But what was there he could do or say? It would be somewhat embarrassing to say outright that he was a virgin, but it wasn't like she'd believe him anyways. Would she believe his truth if he explained everything properly when she'd calm down enough to listen to him? He hoped so.

Then a new thought occurred to him. What if she didn't believe him? What if she never calmed down?

_What if they weren't friends anymore?_

"Shiemi…" he whispered, the name already faded into the evil night.

The half-demon closed his eyes in pain and silently fought against his overwhelming emotions.

* * *

 _Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-_ Kazue Kato

 


	4. Waking the Demon

Part 4: Waking the Demon

She shivered in dread of what was to come next. It was especially grotesque to have him call her name familiarly.

When Amaimon shifted his position over her, Shiemi fought against his unbearable weight, hoping to thwart him as he attempted to re-balance himself, but it was of no use. He was so quick in his movements.

Now he had both of her arms pinned painfully above her head with his one hand and had both of his knees set on top of her legs, digging into them sharply.

"What are you doing…?!" Shiemi's eyes were wide now, and her tears hadn't yet ceased to flow.

"Why, I'm going to taste you. Now hold still, or this will be painful for you. I know weak humans like you aren't fond of pain."

"What…?" The demon's words were like shards of glass pushed into one ear and out the other, frightful and thought-stopping.

The blonde was at the very ends of her sanity and if pushed any further, she would fall over the edge.

The demon prince tugged her shirt up slowly, seeming to savor her torment at being slowly observed bottom to top, and him seeing more of her than anyone else had ever dared to before, which served to torture her even further. At last, when he had it over her head and off, he silently allowed his eyes to tour her surface.

As he reached her face, something in his memory suddenly procured the fact that what he was doing to this human girl would psychologically scar her for the rest of her life. This was probably worse than physically injuring her, in accordance to human standards at least. It made him somewhat curious as to how she'd react if she'd make it out of this alive, and then soon enough see him again.

The thought drove him to do the most terrible things to her.

He bent his head so as to test her sensitivity by licking her, feeling her whole body tense up and her breathing hitch. He grinned as he then used his nail to slice a shallow cut and taste her blood.

"Rin...! Rin!" she yelled frantically, which made Amaimon cackle animatedly at her sorrow.

The green-haired Earth King proceeded to whisper sickening and gut-wrenching things in her ear and she cried harder and harder when he kept his promises.

"Don't worry. It'll end eventually. That probably doesn't sound good from your point of view, but oh well. I'll prepare you for the pain. And after I'm done, I'm going to carve my name into your chest."

She thrashed at her bonds, but it was all in vain and she cried the loudest she'd ever dared to in her whole life.

* * *

Rin gritted his teeth. He wished that sound would go away and just let him be…

It had been a recurring sound, somewhat muted and annoying. It wouldn't let him have his peace, no matter how many times he thought it'd stop. It seemed that its sole purpose was to antagonize and torture him and it WOULD NOT STOP.

"Shut up!" he begged the noise, clamping his hands over his ears and shaking his head fiercely.

_Shiemi…Shiemi, I'm so sorry…! I'm sorry I hurt you! Just make the noise stop! Please! Shiemi!_

His reverie halted in its tracks in that very next moment because this time the sound was much louder and much more clearer and familiar. Rin listened carefully for the noise once more before realizing that it was someone's voice.

The sound was made again. A second later and Rin quickly concluded that it was Shiemi herself.

And at that sound, his whole being spontaneously combusted in his trademark blue fire and he was instantly  _pissed._ He was losing control of himself as well, but he fought to keep a hold of his mind and flashed full speed to the bathroom.

Because Shiemi,  _shy, fragile, wonderful, cute, hurt Shiemi_ , was absolutely  _sobbing_ his name, begging for his help, and there came a deep, dark laugh that joined her cries and taunted her, and he instantly recognized it as filthy demon prince, Earth King Amaimon.

"That damned demon will pay for this!" the half-demon bellowed as he ran.

* * *

"RIN! RIN! RIN!RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIINNNNNNNNNN!"

Shiemi was hyperventilating and everything was fading fast and then everything was crystal clear and then everything was fading again. This process repeated itself as she finally reached her sanity limits, even as Amaimon licked her cream skin with a slimy tongue as he prepared to dig his sharp fingers into her, pulling off her panties.

"RIN, HELP ME! RIN! RIIIN!"

The green-haired demon plunged his pointed fingernails inside her forcefully, almost as if it were punishment for her screams it hurt so much. He twisted the digits, and she moaned against her will, much to her disgust. But Amaimon seemed absolutely infatuated with her reactions and soon after he became bored with simply drilling his fingers around inside of her, he pulled his hand away and absent-mindedly licked them, seeming to ponder over the different taste as he kept a firm hold on the girl.

Once he finished cleaning his fingers, he leaned forward and whispered something incoherently in her ear. Shiemi's expression took a turn for the worse at his news and she began to thrash violently. Amaimon merely laughed at the fact that he could elicit such a powerful action from the human and began to tug at the belt at his waist, ready to fulfill his last grotesque deed.

When Rin at last reached the bathroom, he prepared to kick the door in, and as he did so, completely lost himself at the horrible sight that met his eyes.

The green demon was lying on top of Shiemi, the shirt she'd borrowed cast aside and forgotten, leaving her completely naked. Numerous scratches continued to bleed on her, some shallow, and others dangerously deep, all smeared with thin films of saliva still visibly wet in the bathroom lighting. Much of her own blood was smeared in places where there were no scratches. Amaimon himself was currently unfastening the buttons on his dark, spotted pants.

"Rin…" Shiemi said his name in relief, but quietly, and she fainted as he growled, animalistic at the helplessness in her voice. Amaimon's eyes and grin widened in anticipation.

Rin peeled Amaimon off of Shiemi and launched him out the hall and down the stairs only to have him crash through the wall there and outside in the rain.

He could feel his eyes burn white from his anger and his face contort like that of a monster's as he followed Amaimon's trail outside and spotted him struggling to stand up.

"YES, YES! That was quite a punch you packed back there, Okumura!" The demon spat out the blood collecting in his mouth along with a couple of teeth. "MORE, MORE! LET US FIGHT! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Rin didn't have his sword, so he used his hands and elbows and knees and feet and head, everything to fight the disgusting fiend who opposed him. He was met with little resistance, and after a while, even when Amaimon was obviously unconscious, he continued to fight with a ferocity that reviled only his biological father's. No matter how many times Rin seemed to hit him, it didn't nearly satisfy him as much as he'd like—he had an unquenchable thirst for violence towards the Earth King and nothing he seemed to do quieted his rage. So he kept going, on and on, telling himself it was all for Shiemi, for his friend, for the only girl who'd ever had his heart and who was now lying unconscious and violated on his bathroom floor, a pool of blood slowly growing around her.

* * *

 _Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_  


	5. Hearts Burst Into Fire

Part 5: Hearts Burst Into Fire

Yukio sighed as he pocketed one of his many keys that linked one completely opposite location to another that was sometimes perhaps thousands of miles away. He didn't really find this strange. It was the norm. In fact, it somewhat bored him at times. He guessed that's what being an Exorcist did to you.

At True Cross Academy, the storm he had predicted would travel over them without any damage done had apparently decided to stay and soak the world with its damned rain.

The younger Okumura twin hated the rain. It was a gloomy thing that he wouldn't care to be separated from. It was bitter and its touch of natural acid seemed to dig into his wounds. It coursed through his blood and to his brain, where it drudged up memories of photograph-like images of the funeral of Father Fujimoto. Rin was there, seemingly lost in thoughts…

Speaking of which…

His obnoxious older brother had mentioned something about training with Shiemi in the back area where no one would bother them, student or Exorcist. Yukio was, in fact, standing in that back area as of that moment, and so wondered where the half-demon and girl had gone.

He shrugged, somewhat annoyed with Rin for the thought of him teasing the poor girl in sparring matches. Rin had no right! No right at all…

Yukio sighed again, this time in an irritated tone. Did he feel this way with himself and his denial of his feelings for  _her_ , or did he feel this for Rin? He couldn't answer that question and so he wearily began his journey to his shared dorm without an umbrella. To distract himself from this misfortune, he allowed his thoughts to wonder at will, becoming inevitably lost in them almost immediately

…And so it might've been about two minutes or two hours or so later when the Exorcist heard the noises and Yukio had to stop for a moment to gather his senses and decide to investigate.

He broke into a swift sprint, the rain searing him as he went, but he didn't care.

_Those God awful screams…_

There was a flash of blue flame and instantly, Yukio knew Rin was involved, but he simultaneously knew those weren't his screams.

_What have you done, Rin?_

* * *

When he came upon the scene, Yukio had to hang back a few ways away from the horrifying event.

It wasn't so much as a fight as it was a torturing. He hardly recognized Amaimon, now unconscious presumably from the pain and terror of Rin.

Rin did not look as Yukio ever remembered. The only thing that gave it away was the brilliant blue flames. He could tell that his foolish brother had lost complete control from his feral expression and his distorted eyes. The most obvious clue though was the way his fire coursed around him, steady streams of it blowing outwards like a torch, whereas before they billowed out, brushing him like a flickering candle.

"I'd better notify Mephisto," Yukio muttered, still engrossed in the scene.

"That won't be necessary," a voice proclaimed from beside him.

Yukio turned his head to glance up at an amused and also grave Mephisto, who didn't so much as look back down at him, as he usually would have to smirk or give a small hoot of laughter. It spoke lengths of how serious Mephisto was about this particular incident.

"I'm already here," the peculiar fellow said wearily. "I would never allow fights this hostile and uninhibited to take place on my campus. Who could think let alone sleep with that racket?"

"Mephisto, could you please restrain Rin?" Yukio asked frantically, impatient to save his brother and the school from his brother's own dangerous power.

The taller man glanced down at him. "Would you believe that I wouldn't have done anything otherwise? As I said before, who could think with that racket, and on my school campus, of all places? No, I must step in, in this case. I will take care of this."

And he promptly strode onto the scene, tensing as he readied himself to spring into the action, but before he did this, he gave a wise word of warning to the young Exorcist. "You stay there, Okumura-kun, until I say it is safe to move."

Then the tall man jumped—high. He seemed to be a rocket or missile, and he was headed straight for Rin.

The blue half-demon paid him no mind as he stood suspended in air, preparing to make yet another blow to the mangled green demon. Mephisto took full advantage of this, smirking wildly as he quickly gripped Rin in a head-lock, his enormous strength spotlighted as the teen struggled in his vice-like arms.

"Yukio!" commanded the purple-clad Exorcist. "Find the  _Koumaken._  And I suggest you be snappy about it. As strong as I am, I don't believe I'll be able to hold Rin-kun much longer."

"Right!" Yukio had already lunged from the sidelines and proceeded to sprint to his dorm, somehow sensing that Mephisto would need his help.

The strangely dressed demon stared after his underling, grinning like the Mad Hatter at the joy of being in action after such a long while.

"Rin, did you know that interesting things serve to be my entertainment?" Mephisto heartily laughed as the struggling beast snarled in his arms.

* * *

Yukio immediately rushed to the bedroom, taking no time at all to glance around at the damage done to the building. Once inside the room, he quickly found the sword in open sight, lying comfortably on Rin's bed. He snatched it up and hurriedly spun to rush back to his brother and Mephisto.

" _Rin…Rin…"_

Yukio froze. He recognized that voice, albeit it was muffled and a fair distance off.

"Shiemi!" he cried, searching for her. Where was she? Was she alright? What had Rin done to her?

He shook his head when he heard the quiet cries resonating from the bathroom, launching himself down the hall to it. He immediately noticed the missing door before he saw her and almost retched at her gruesome condition.

Anger flared up in him at the sight, but he managed to barely suppress it as he used his doctor-like ease to tend to her.

"Shiemi. Shiemi, what happened?" Yukio pulled her upright and gently embraced her. She didn't seem to take notice of the contact.

"Rin…Rin…Rin…" she repeated. She seemed to be in shock, and so the boy did what he could do to comfort her in the short time that was left—wrapped her in a discarded towel and carried her to his room to rest in his bed.

He left, swallowing his disgust at the event. Yukio sent for Doctors, telling them the location of the incident and asking them to tend to Shiemi in his room. Once he had done that and made sure that Shiemi would be safe, he shut his cell phone and left.

He wondered then if that was the reason for Rin's sudden burst of rage. Had Amaimon done this? Or was it Rin? The teen shook his head. There was no way Rin could've done something so horrible. But it made perfect sense if (though he abhorred the thought) the demon prince had attacked Shiemi and Rin had found Amaimon that way with her and Rin had gone berserk.

Yukio snarled something unintelligible that might've been profanities. He launched himself with all his might to the battle, instantly forgiving Rin for his recklessness, for the younger teen knew that had he been in Rin's place, he would have done no different.

* * *

_Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_

 


	6. Ultranumb

Part 6: Ultranumb

Indeed, when the bespectacled boy at last stepped upon the long-ended fight, the younger Okumura twin had made it in the nick of time, watching as Rin writhed evermore in Mephisto's weakening arms. He could see the sweat dripping down the higher Exorcist's face in fat rivulets. Nonetheless, the man seemed to be in good spirits judging by his enormous grin.

"Ah, there you are, Okumura-kun. I was beginning to wonder whether you spontaneously died on your way there." He guffawed at his own joke. "Well then," he continued on, "throw me that sword."

Rin seemed to thrash harder in Mephisto's grip than before at the sight of Yukio, snarling all the while.

"Rin…" Yukio's expression held a melancholy sympathy for his brother.

"Hurry up," the other Exorcist gestured, impatient. Rin was almost out of his grip now.

"Here." He threw the sword as high and hard and accurately as he could to Mephisto.

Yukio observed the strange headmaster grin in glee and catch it with one hand while he quickly changed his grip on Rin to hold him with just one arm. He then slid the sword slightly out of its matching blue scabbard.

At this, the older Okumura twin roared at the stronger blaze of fire over-stimulating his systems, twisting fiercely.

Mephisto pushed the blade back in place snugly in its scabbard; this seemed to do the trick as the azure energy was extinguished and the teen slumped in the higher Exorcist's arms, exhausted, but awake.

Mephisto landed then, allowing Rin to pull out of his arms and stand, back bent, numb.

The violet-haired Exorcist strutted the distance across from Rin then to crouch down beside Amaimon, muttering things that sounded slightly as if he were scolding the demon prince. He roughly maneuvered the Earth King over his shoulder and began to walk back to his tower where he resided.

Rin's gaze followed them, his eyes predator-like as he twisted to launch himself at the battered prince. Of course, Yukio restrained him, feeling his brother's taut muscles shake as he weakly fought to be released.

Mephisto glanced back at the two brothers and winked as he spoke. "I'll deal with this naughty one here. I expect you two to tend to the damage. We must keep this ordeal a secret."

And then he was gone.

Rin spat at the spot Mephisto had roughly vanished from and struggled a little harder at the sudden change of events, not at all satisfied with this outcome that promised the Earth King another day to see. Yukio felt the same and so did not blame his brother at all for screaming at him. In fact, had the younger twin not been the logical thinker he was, he would've done the same.

"Yukio! YUKIO! Let me GO! LET ME GOOO! He's horrible! He hurt her! He hurt her! He doesn't  _deserve_  to live, Yukio! Yukio, I said  _ **LET ME GO**_!"

"Nii-san, why were you so stubborn to try to kill Amaimon?" Yukio asked, trying to rationalize with his twin, who still struggled in his brother's grip.

"Shiemi," he said, and then jerked violently at seemingly realizing something, spinning around and attempting to break free of his bonds.

"What's wrong? What about Shiemi? Now where are you going?" Yukio drilled, worry pitting his gut at the mention of Shiemi's name. Just what exactly had his brother seen? Would he go insane over the sight of her, maybe again?

"Shiemi," Rin repeated. "Shiemi's hurt. LET ME GO! I HAVE TO FIND SHIEMI AND HELP HER LEMMEGOOOOOO!"

Rin roared and his body ignited in the blue flames once more, only to have Yukio quickly suppress them again, silently thanking Mephisto for allowing him to keep the sword.

"STOP IT, YUKIO! LET ME GO! SHIEMI! SHIEMIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Nii-san, calm down. I called for Doctors. They are headed to her location as we speak. Calm down and get a hold of yourself," the younger brother said, sharing his brother's uneasiness. He felt guilty that he hadn't been there to protect the female Exwire. He hadn't been able to stay long either so as to further console her, the poor thing. She was hurt badly, and Yukio felt sick because of it. He shared his brother's turmoil, but knew it was best to hide that pain.

"Shut up! Just SHUT UP!" Rin thrashed in his brother's arms.

"No! CALM DOWN, RIN, OR YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP SHIEMI AT ALL! Now tell me what happened!"

This seemed to work. Rin's face fell as he realized his brother spoke the truth and he remembered the terms of his agreement with the Vatican. "I don't really know," Rin struggled to say.

"What do you mean? You were there, weren't you? What happened? Weren't you watching her?" he demanded, suddenly furious with his brother for being so negligent and thoughtless. If it had been him there and not Rin…maybe…maybe Shiemi would've been safe—

"I need to go there. I need to see her, Yukio. Please," the upset teen pleaded.

"I don't—" the Exorcist sighed at his brother's expression, the fury simmering down. "Fine. But if you go ballistic, it's all over. It's not good for you at all, but I suppose. I need to see this too because it's my job as a Doctor and a friend, but I need you to tell me what happened."

The older twin visibly deflated at this. "I don't know if I can."

Yukio sighed. "Just tell me what you can."

Rin hesitated, but at last gave in, hanging his head. He then began to explain on their way there. "We'd been training and it started to rain, so we decided to go inside after we realized we didn't have our keys to get Shiemi back home…"

* * *

_Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_

 


	7. Hallelujah

Part 7: Hallelujah

" _We'd been training and it started to rain, so we decided to go inside after we realized we didn't have our keys to get Shiemi back home…"_

Rin proceeded to tell the event from that point on, recalling as many details as he could, which was hard because everything seemed to be clouded in a dark haze of grief and barely recountable, but he managed as best as he could, though he had to pause many times to gather his thoughts and push back the negative emotions that came with each turn in events.

Rin couldn't remember at what point in the story Yukio had completely stopped him in order to punch Rin in the stomach and slap his face, telling him he was an idiot. No, Rin couldn't remember whether it was when he'd told Shiemi about Izumo, or when he'd abandoned her, or when he discovered Amaimon and Shiemi in the bathroom, when he'd transformed…No, none of these points did he know. He didn't know anything anymore at that point. He didn't care what happened to him then, so long as God or whatever other deity, if there was one, that seemed to stand watch over his chaotic life, would make Shiemi be okay. No, Rin didn't really know anything, didn't care, didn't resist.

He just knew he was an idiot.

When they'd finally reached Shiemi, a group of Doctors were tending to her gently, and she looked much worse than Rin remembered with her sickly pallor and ugly bruises. Dried blood now matted her hair and clotted around areas meant to be private on her body. Her eyes were sunken in and swollen bags dragged at the underneath of them. Grime seemed to have smeared itself along with the blood across her skin, giving her a filthy look. Over all, the poor little female Exwire had a battered appearance.

Yukio gazed at her rugged looks with what appeared to be indifference, but his twin knew that on the inside he was forlorn. Rin turned his gaze away in shame, disgusted with Amaimon and his own self for not being able to protect the girl he loved.

 _I should've been there, dammit!_  Rin cursed himself, clenching his teeth and attempting to shut out the pain by closing his eyes tightly. "I should've been there! I should've protected her, kept her close, watched her. I should have prevented this from happening in the first place! I'm—"

_Slap!_

The sting of Yukio's hand wanted to make Rin wince. But he kept his head hanging there to the side to take in all of the pain from the blow. All was silent save for a white noise pounding in Rin's ears as he quietly watched a panting Yukio drop his hand back down to his side and stand up straight to meet his brother's gaze. Rin straightened up as well and silently told his brother "thank you" with his eyes.

Yukio took a step forward, reaching a hand toward him. Rin closed his eyes, readying himself for the impact of another slap.

But instead, he found to his relief and masochistic dismay that the young Exorcist had merely rested his hand on Rin's head, ruffling his hair softly, comforting Rin like Yukio was the older brother.

" _We'll get through this,"_ he quietly breathed. He pulled away, a grimly determined, though exhausted, expression set on his face.

Rin knew his brother was not one for physical affection or contact, even in the most emotional of situations. So he knew that his younger brother was feeling the effects of the event. However, it was likely that Yukio partly comforted Rin for Rin's benefit, and the half-demon again silently thanked him for that.

Nonetheless, there was a tension between the brothers that was palpable in the air when Yukio nodded to him and stalked off with the rest of the Doctors as they towed away Shiemi's unconscious body. Rin watched Yukio close the door behind him with a click, leaving his older brother to himself in their dark room.

* * *

 _Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_  


	8. Still Around

Part 8: Still Around

It had been three days, and Rin still had not moved from his curled position on his bed.

Occasionally, Yukio would check on him to make sure he was still there, still breathing, still alive. He would give his brother status reports on Shiemi, though these weren't exactly comforting either. In fact, Shiemi was much the same as Rin—curled in a small ball on her bed, wasting away. Not eating, not drinking, not sleeping, not moving—nothing.

The worry Yukio felt ate at him. What they were doing wasn't healthy. They needed food, exercise, sunshine, water at the very least for goddamn's sake.

But mostly, Yukio kept his distance. He knew Rin just needed space. But dammit if that boy didn't make him worry.

And the more he thought about it, the more resolved he became to find a way to solve this mess. He just needed to somehow convince Rin to go see Shiemi and  _talk_ to her. Yukio would take care of convincing Shiemi, but who would then motivate Rin?

But then of course, he knew the answer to that.

* * *

Later that day, under the pretense of going out for a walk, Yukio slipped out to find the very person to beat some sense into Rin.

* * *

"Rin, I'm going out for a walk," his brother's voice said.

Rin heard him move briskly across the room to retrieve his coat and make his way back and out the door, closing it softly behind him. He listened to the echoes of Yukio leaving the empty dormitory. Walking down the stairs, shutting doors, and finally silence.

 _Whatever,_ he thought to himself.  _That's bullshit, and you know it._

Because although it wasn't said out loud, they knew that really Yukio just couldn't stand the sight of him.

He turned over to stare up at the underneath of the bunk above him, his eyes not seeing anymore. And he couldn't bring himself to care.

Rin mulled over his brother's reports of Shiemi. She wasn't doing well. Not well at all. When she wasn't curled up on herself under the covers, she was constantly bathing herself, often scrubbing her skin raw. When she wasn't doing either of these, she was scratching and rubbing herself roughly, and her mother reported that she often bled because of this. Her mother would do her best to patch her up, but it was to no avail because Shiemi would rip off the bandages.

An especially bad incident had come to his attention when Yukio reported that Shiemi had fallen asleep at one point and had woken up screaming. It had taken him and her mother two hours to restrain and calm her down. She had kept saying something about how  _he_ was there. How Amaimon'sface kept staring down at her and laughing and smirking and telling her abominable  _things._ How she could still  _feel_ his hands on her, touching her. How she couldn't get rid of his touch, no matter what she did.

And he had had to get up to find the bathroom and retch into the toilet then. That had been the last time he had moved from his bed.

Rin's heart hurt. It hurt, and he regretted ever being associated with innocent Shiemi. He wanted so much to erase it all, his meeting her, his memories of her. Her of him.

But most of all, Rin wanted to kill Amaimon. He wanted to be stronger so that he would've been able to protect her from the Earth King. He wanted to erase Shiemi's encounters with him and take it all back. He would gladly bleed, let his friggin' blood  _pour_  if it would drive away those experiences.

Rin clutched at his heart, balling the cloth of his shirt there into his fist, feel his corded muscles move up and down with his breathing, his heartbeat…

He wanted to be rid of those things now. He wished he were dead, but he knew Shiemi was feeling worse than this. She was  _really_ hurt. Not him. What Rin felt was nothing compared to her pain. And he knew that these thoughts weren't helping her or anybody for that matter, and that made it all the more despairing.

 _She was_ raped, he thought. He didn't think Amaimon had—had— _penetrated_ her, but it still counted as assault, especially since it had obviously scarred her psychologically. Shiemi…

He curled into himself, pain rocking through him. Die, just die, he told himself. Her last words echoed through him and his hand knotted in his hair at them.

_Leave me alone. I hate you. Leave me alone._

Rin was gasping for air now, and he knew he was hyperventilating, but he didn't care. It hurt. So much pain…

Tears streamed down his face, the first of any sort of emotion he'd displayed over the past three days. And it felt good to let it out.

However, the tears were swift and made him feel like he was stuck in the rain again, just like Father Fujimoto's…

His mind stopped working then just as the door to his shared bedroom swung open.

Rin didn't acknowledge the person's presence. He couldn't care anymore.

Rin heard heavy footsteps march across the room in rapid succession toward him, but he stayed silent, reckoning that if he didn't say anything, they'd go away.

With a  _yoink!_ he was flung from the bed and thrown head-first into the adjacent wall. Rin watched, shocked, as a blur gripped the collar of his shirt to peel him off the ground.

Rin blinked up at the face swimming in his blurred vision.

"What's the matter with you?!" a familiar voice shouted in his face.

His squinted eyes widened as the face's features suddenly cleared into smooth lines.

"Y-You?" he asked breathlessly.

* * *

_Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_


	9. Little Talks

Part 9: Little Talks

The half-demon was only half-surprised to find violet-eyed Shura glaring fiercely at him, more furiously than he had ever seen her before.

"What's the matter with you?!" she growled menacingly.

Rin flinched.

She snorted, disgusted with his reaction.

"Hmph, I outta kill you for being so insolent and naïve!" The strawberry-blonde snapped. "You stupid, stupid boy…"

"Shura, that's enough. I called you over here to help Rin, not kill him." Yukio stood in the doorway, looking on with a disapproving expression.

"Shut up! I'll do what I want with him!" she yelled.

"Shura…"

She continued to glare at Rin, who was avoiding her gaze guiltily. The busty Exorcist's eyes narrowed dangerously, growling as she pushed her face closer to his.

"Look at me…" she whispered. A little louder—"Look at me, Rin."

Rin stubbornly kept his eyes glued to the corner of his room, his face set. He refused to budge.

"LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!" She slammed him into the wall once, earning a cringe from the pained teen. He squinted at her through his aching limbs, forcing himself to match her stare with his darker blue eyes.

Frustration at his vulnerable position suddenly gnawed at Rin. He was pinned beneath his "tutor," totally at her mercy. And he couldn't do anything about it—he was weak, too weak for any _effective_ sort of combat that could save Shiemi or even himself for that matter. What would he do if any of his other friends were hurt or in trouble? Would he be as useless as Shura made him out to be, like right now? He felt himself grow angry at her. Why was he so weak? Why hadn't she trained him more?

His blue eyes narrowed at her, zeroing in on her furious expression. Why was she so pissed off? She had no right!  _She's_ not the one who hurt Shiemi's feelings.  _She's_ not the one who abandoned her.  _She's_ not the one who allowed Shiemi to get raped by Amaimon, and left her unprotected.  _She's_ not the one who almost lost control and who almost got imprisoned by the Vatican.

 _Look at me, dammit!_ Her words echoed in his head.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" he roared.

Blue flames erupted in a column around him, blazing like an unholy torch.

Shura sprang back, unsurprised by his sudden behavior and even more sudden ignition. She had miscalculated the timing of her jump, however, burning the hand clenched at Rin's collar. She held her lightly seared appendage with her unharmed one and stared accusingly at him.

Rin had regretted hurting her, but he hadn't been sorry for making her let him go. He just wasn't in the mood to be lectured at that moment, couldn't she see that?

 _Shura obviously thinks so_ , he thought, gnashing his teeth.  _She's—_

The thought broke off as he came to fully observe the sadness in her violet eyes. It was as if she pitied him. Her expression crumpled and contorted, like she herself was suffering.

Rin couldn't take it anymore—the walls around him broke, his protective shield from his emotions shattered, and a tsunami of agony, hurt, anger, and despair overwhelmed him. He screamed.

"I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

There was a strange silence after the exclamation, and the words hung motionless in the air, echoing inside violently against Rin's skull as he came to fully process that last sentence.

His expression fell at the realization that he had just used Shiemi's last words. All of his anger, his bitterness left him. The inferno engulfing his body flickered and began to die down, sapping him of his energy. His flames dispersed and left Rin exhausted.

He lifted his head to gaze at Shura, tired eyes pleading with her to let it drop, to let him be. He felt like a desperate, caged animal, trapped for too long inside its own prison, and he  _wanted out._ "Please…please. Please just let me…"

Rin paused, his thought unfinished.

He didn't know what he wanted.

_Just let me what?_

Yukio made a move to restrain Rin as Shura collapsed to her knees, and Rin began to tremble, but she waved him off. He hesitantly nodded, but nonetheless watched Rin like a hawk.

She continued to glare at the distressed teen, but her eyes still held that sympathy for her student.

"Just let you what?" She echoed his thoughts, her voice rough. Rin shook his head. "You don't know, do you? Do you expect me to just let you stay in here until you die and rot?  _I don't think so._ "

"You don't understand—" he interjected.

"Oh, I understand alright. I  _understand_ you want nothing to do with anything or anyone anymore, am I right? Huh? AM I RIGHT?"

He flinched.

"Of course I'm right. You're too afraid you'll hurt someone again, be unable to protect 'em. But if that's how you feel, then you  _should_ just die. Just die, Rin!"

Yukio's brow creased at the harsh words, his eyes flicking back and forth between Shura and his twin, lingering on Rin. The younger brother felt Rin's pain. It was cruel what Shura was doing, but these were things Rin needed to hear, and so Yukio restrained himself from interfering.

Shura pushed on. "Don't you think we all make mistakes? That we all have regrets, Rin? Don't you know how I felt when I heard the old man died? He was your dad, and I left you and your brother orphans. He was my master.  _He had saved my life for God's sake!_  Don't you think I don't know! It's painful. It hurts. So what? There are others. Other people to protect now." She'd been shouting breathlessly at him, and now she had to pause quickly to take a much needed breath. After the slight interruption, she pressed on. "Don't you realize, Rin? Don't you know that we'd miss you? How that'd affect us if you suddenly left? Huh? And what about Shiemi? Hmm?"

"Stop," Rin gasped. His heart clenched at the mention of Shiemi's name and desperately wanted it to all  _stop. Just stop!_

He hadn't realized he'd spoke his last thoughts out loud until Shura spoke.

"No, I won't. Look at me, Rin. If you ever want to heal, if you ever want the pain to go way, then  _look at me._ "

This seemed to work, as he looked at her, his expression one of surrender.

She shook her head. "Rin, do you remember what happened? Do you remember how exactly you discovered Shiemi in the bathroom? How you knew she was there? How you knew she needed you?"

Rin shook his head, his mind muddied. He had a splitting headache, and he was feeling nauseous now. He couldn't process any thoughts he had now, not even if he tried.

_Please stop._

"Rin." Yukio spoke now, taking a step forward into the room. "Rin, I know you remember. You told me. You told me how you knew she needed your help."

Rin shook his head again, faster this time, as tears began to race down his face, frantic. He bore his clenched teeth in an effort to suppress his sobs. He shoved his fingers in his raven hair and pulled at the locks tangled in them.

" _She was crying…and sobbing…and screaming…_ " he managed to say, somewhat recalling the memory.

"What was she crying?"

"She…" Rin thought back to it and mentally cringed at the images that appeared, but he thought back before, to when he'd sat in his bedroom moping, and how he had quickly burst into flames, worried for his fragile friend. Her cries came back to him then, and he froze in reality, his tears the only things that seemed to move.

Because Shiemi had cried  _his name._

"Oh my God…" he whispered, falling to his knees, now level with Shura.

" _What did she say?_ "

"She said…she said…my  _name_ ," he choked, hardly able to contain himself.

Shura nodded. "That's right. She was calling for you, Rin. She wanted your help. She forgave you. She forgave you before it even happened. She cares about you still, Rin. You have to help her now. Again. Before it's too late. She's hurt and she needs someone.

"Her mother sent a message to us. She said Shiemi's been unresponsive lately. She won't eat or sleep. She won't even garden anymore. She needs you, Rin. She needs you _now_."

Rin nodded, numb. He paid Shura no mind as she stood up and left, deeming her work done and patting him on the shoulder consolingly as she passed him on her way out the door. Yukio threw him a relieved look and left him to his own devices as well before shutting the door and asking to him to come out soon for supper.

He consented to this and stood up to stare out the window at the suddenly illuminated campus. He hadn't looked outside for what seemed like the longest time, and now he was aching for the daylight. The sun was setting slowly, but there was a radiant rainbow arching gracefully with the hopeful smiling rays of the fading light.

He took it as a sign.

" _Rin…"_

He imagined the words like cool water across his skin on a dry, hot summer day, full of relief and content.

"Shiemi…" he whispered, tasting her name on his tongue and smiling.

He knew he'd get her back.

* * *

_Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_

 


	10. Bleeding Out

Part 10: Bleeding Out

Rin stood with his eyes closed against the onslaught of hot shower water pouring down on him, drenching his naked body in its fervent rain.

It felt good after a hard week of sulking in his own dirt and grime beneath his bed covers. The warm water was soaking his hair to a solid black that stuck closely against his skull, revealing his pointed ears. He brought his hands to his head and pushed his fingers through the dark wet locks, sluicing the water from his hair and splashing down into the drain at his feet.

Baubles of water like small marbles clung to his lashes like tears. They fell once they became too big and heavy, rolling down his cheeks and collecting at his chin to continue their descent and join the rivulets plummeting down his chest, back, and thighs.

For once, his tail was swinging free from its usual position at his chest and waist. Rin had subconsciously relaxed enough to drop his guard and allow the extra appendage to unwind from around his torso. It felt good to let go like this, he thought. He'd been so worked up these past few days, winding himself into a tight ball of stress what with Shiemi and the others…

It was mostly Shiemi, though. Ever since that night—he couldn't remember how many days ago it was; he'd lost track of time and didn't care to know just how many days he had stayed a pathetic mess, nor did he intend to mark out a day and recall the rape of one of his good friends, and so forgotten it remained—Rin hadn't been able to stop thinking of her. How much he had screwed up. How he wanted to make it better…to make it up to the girl he cared so much for.

She wasn't doing good. Last night had been the most recent report he'd gotten of her—after Shura had barged in on account of Yukio and beaten some sense into him (and he would be eternally grateful for this). The female Exwire was subject to trial if she didn't get her act together, Yukio had told him. She was technically neglecting her duties as Exwire for the True Cross Organization and had taken an over-extended amount of leave-time. This was as good as desertion in the eyes of the Council. She had come too far in the program for her to quit now and turn back. She'd taken an oath, just like the others, and she would be held to it—just like the others, no matter how justified the cause.

She was being watched and condemned like a criminal…just like him.

Rin slammed a fist into the back wall of the shower stall, feeling a square tile crack under the pressure, and he felt a small surge of satisfaction. Yet this was not enough to dull the fire burning inside of him.

 _Shiemi doesn't deserve this,_ Rin thought.  _Maybe I do because I've done stupid things. But she_ hasn't.  _It makes no sense. It's not fair!_

While she wasn't the brightest or strongest girl he'd ever met, Shiemi was the most pure-hearted of them all. She kept them all in line—she kept them together like one big family. She saw the best in everyone and forgave perhaps a little too easily, but they all had their faults, and if that was hers, that was not a hard burden to carry. That wasn't so bad.

_She's lost that innocence, though._

The thought came unbidden to him. It was unwanted and unwelcome.

He growled low in his chest—a real growl unlike the fake ones humans were accustomed to making that sounded forced. Rin was a half-demon, and he could be intimidating even in small ways like roaring a lion's roar if need be. He was part beast, after all.

He mourned the loss of Shiemi's naivety, and not because it fit idealizations of what the "fair sex" were supposed to be like, but because it suited her. She had been happy that way, and her innocence had been a wise sort of thing that rubbed off on the rest of them, curing them from their own self-despair and darkness where no weapons or spells or even magic for that matter could. It was so rare to see such purity at an older age, and it seemed a shame to shatter it.

But now it had been corrupted. Now Shiemi was the one drowning in her agony, and who would be there to save  _her_?

 _I will,_  Rin vowed.  _I will bring her back. I will save Shiemi, no matter what. No matter what it takes, I will get her back._

He shut the shower off and stepped out of the steamy stall onto a soft mat to dry off the last of the water droplets from his body. His long, serpentine tail automatically curled back around his chest as he wrapped the towel around his waist.

 _Maybe I can't give her back her innocence or fix her so that she goes back to being the way she was,_ he thought grimly.

 _But I_ will  _bring you back, Shiemi. I promise._

Yukio had visited Shiemi that morning, giving her the news of Rin's soon-to-be arrival later that afternoon in order for her and her mother to prepare themselves for company, as well as for the girl to mentally and emotionally steal herself.

Rin swallowed nervously as he and his brother walked up the dry dirt path to the Moriyama residence. They moved at an even, reasonable pace, but to Rin, the distance from them to the house seemed to stretch on forever.

The half-demon had dressed slowly after his shower, drawing out the interval between the time they were to depart for their visit and his remaining time to get ready psychologically for the confrontation.

Who said this was going to be easy?

He glanced to his side at the garden in the back of the house, expecting to see the vibrant plants and stout foliage that he'd grown accustomed to in all his frequent visits to the Moriyama place.

Rin's eyes were wide, taking in the bland landscape of the abandoned garden that Shiemi had seemed to spend all of her time in. Her once pride-and-joy was now a desolate, decrepit wasteland, dried up and dull in color.

Her flowers had drooped low on their stems, their leaves and petals lying in withered brown piles like corpses on the battlefield. The vegetables had rotted in deflated shells of decayed flesh, and the grass had dried to a brittle sand color.

Shiemi's favorite place in the whole world looked ravaged and empty. The scene looked almost apocalyptic.

The younger Okumura, noticing his brother's sudden hesitation, stopped in his tracks to stare at Rin's forlorn stationary form. It was the stillest he'd ever seen his brother be…besides the last week of refusing to get out of bed. The older twin could be a statue.

"Rin," Yukio called.

Rin turned his head away from the garden's ugly state, moving his gaze to stare some place off in the distance beyond Yukio's watchful eyes, not really seeing. Before he caught up to his more responsible brother, he bent down and plucked a yellow dandelion from the edge of the dirt path, pocketing it. Rin matched Yukio's pace as they trudged up the steps to the Moriyama shop entrance.

Yukio knocked a few times before Shiemi's mother answered.

Rin held his tongue from speaking his troubled thoughts aloud at the woman's appearance as she moved to the side to allow them to pass into the building.

Looking at her, the half-demon's eyes raked over the wrinkles that seemed to have formed fresh just this week—he didn't think she'd had them before. Her cheeks seem to droop over hollows in the flesh. Bags adorned the underneath of her eyes from insomnia, starting to tint a mauve color. Her lids were heavy, obscuring half of her blood-shot eyes. Her hair appeared thinner and patches were missing, as if she'd torn them out. All in all, it looked like there was a tangled mess of a wispy gray nest atop her head. She seemed to have aged fifteen years.

"How is she?" Yukio asked, taking a seat in a chair she offered to him at the table.

"The same." This appeared to be the obligatory response.

The woman's eyes swiveled to stare sharply at Rin. Her look was so much of that of a hard one, the half-demon thought she was glowering at him. Only until the corner of her creased mouth quirked up in a grim half-smile was he able to relax.

"She says your name sometimes," she said, watching his reaction carefully. Her voice was raspy and coarse and thick with drink.

Inwardly, Rin flinched, feeling a strange mixture of relief and trepidation. What did it mean that she called for him in her sleep? Outwardly, he blushed, but kept schooled his face to remain calm.

"May he see her?" Yukio asked her.

She nodded. "She's in her room. Same place she's been this whole week."

Rin thought he saw contempt and blame in her expression aimed at him, and yet there was a sort of desperation, a hope that he could possibly fix this, that he could cure her beloved daughter who seemed so lost.

Even as the dejected teen left the room to Yukio and Shiemi's mother, he still felt her eyes boring into his back, never leaving him once, even as he shut the door behind him.

Rin found her in the little apartment her grandmother had occupied close to the garden before she'd died.

He'd opened the door as quietly as possible, only wide enough to allow his passage before closing it just as softly behind him.

The room was dark, the only source of light a small candle on her nightstand. Its flickering glow cast strange shadows on the walls that moved with the wick's wavering flame.

The half-demon tiptoed feather-light across the floor to her bedside, his eyes on the large, misshapen mass in the middle of the bundles of blankets forming a safe nest around her on the bed.

"Shiemi," he said. "It's Rin. It's me."

The covers made no move. She didn't speak.

His knees brushed the edge of the bed as he leaned forward, his hand hovering over the lump that he knew to be Shiemi's huddled form.

"Shiemi?" Rin tugged gently at the blankets hiding her.

" _Don't touch me,"_ she hissed, the noise muffled beneath her layers. "Go away."

His brow furrowed and Rin frowned down at her. He felt his anger flare for a moment before dulling under the guilt and self-loathing. Determined as ever, however, and undaunted, he reached over and yanked the covers back.

Shiemi lay there before him, clad in an old gray T-shirt and black shorts that were obviously too big for her; the drawstrings had been wrapped twice around her hips and knotted in front with still some length to spare. If he had to guess, he'd say they were her father's old clothes that had been left behind in an old closet or chest somewhere.

The shirt and shorts were soiled with her grime and ripe sweat. He could smell the bitter scent of her body odor. Her hair was greasy with the natural oils secreted from the body, and it was knotted in a yellow haze about her head. Her bangs hung in her face, outgrowing their usual length level with her eyebrows.

What horrified Rin the most were the angry, hideous red scratches and sores decorating her arms and legs and neck. They were raw and raised like welts on her otherwise pale skin. The majority of them were fresh and bleeding steadily. Her sheets were spotted with old and bright cherry droplets. A small collection of them formed a larger stain that looked like a puddle, partially hidden beneath her crumpled body.

A jolt went through him when he realized the wounds were self-inflicted.

He was rendered speechless for a moment as Shiemi squirmed on her bed, fighting to curl into an even tighter ball. She whimpered.

That caught his attention. He sat on the edge of the mattress next to her, warily watching her. Her sores were chafing and rubbing against the blankets as she struggled to hide herself from him, and Rin mentally cringed when he thought of how irritating and painful that must be, but she seemed to be paying that no mind at all.

" _Go away,"_ she snarled. "I don't want you here. Go away, Rin."

"No," he said, his voice hard. He snatched her wrist, gripping it gently, but held it with an unyielding iron strength that came naturally to the spawn of Satan.

"Don't touch me!" the blonde girl shrieked, trying to pull her arm away from the bastard. "Don't touch me!"

"You have to look at me first," Rin said. "Look at me. Look me in the eye, and then I'll let you go."

Shiemi paused in her thrashing, seeming to contemplate his words. Grudgingly, she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

He held in a gasp at the state of her face. It was simultaneously pale and splotched, shiny ruby red around the eyes, which were swollen, giving the impression that she was squinting at him. Raw tear tracks had scraped pink lines down her cheeks and to her jaw.

Rin kept his eyes even with hers. He swallowed a hard swallow before saying, "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

He offered her a grin, but she was staring down at their hands, his still wrapped around her wrist.

"Oh, right," he said, quickly releasing her. He rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. His fingers pulled at the short hairs at his nape, tugging the roots absent-mindedly.

The half-demon was unsure of how to proceed. What should he say? How could words make any of what she'd been through okay?

So it both surprised and relieved him when she was the first one to break the heavy silence.

"Rin," she said.

His eyes found her face, which was sad now, the anger it had harbored earlier had given way to a sort of hollow melancholy. Her look was panged when she met his stare.

She was shivering slightly despite the hot June day. Her hands rubbed at her gashed arms. The flesh turned scarlet under her vigorous touch.

"What do I do?" Shiemi's owlish green eyes stared at him, wide as saucers.

"I don't know," he admitted, breaking eye contact self-consciously. "I'm sorry."

"You were always smarter than me," she confided, not seeming to have heard his whispers. Or she had outright ignored them. "You always knew what to do. You always pulled through for us. You worked  _so hard._ "

Rin blushed. She really thought so? Was she proud of him? Did she really look up to him like that?

He threw her an abashed look. She didn't seem to notice, her thoughts too far away from him now. Her eyes were distant, though they were aimed at him.

"You and Yuki-chan both. You're both so strong and smart and always seem to be so far ahead of me that I'm sprinting to keep up. That's why I wanted to train with you, so I could catch up and get better. I wanted to be able to stand up for myself…"

She trailed off, but Rin knew exactly where her thoughts were taking her to. He could feel a physical pain, like a hand that punched through his forcefully and wrapped a vise-grip around his heart and clenched and squeezed, just by looking at her.

Because he knew that although she'd fought so hard in order to make a name for herself and gain higher ground—although she'd fought so hard in order to become stronger and more powerful…it hadn't been enough. She'd lost her battle against Amaimon and paid a heavy price. She'd been chastened not with broken bones or ruptured organs or missing limbs, but mental and emotional scars she'd carry for the rest of her life. She'd lost her innocence and her pride to a stranger who did not love her. The Earth King had humiliated her in his own way.

Anguish and guilt stormed his gut, realizing he'd taken her for granted in all this time. Her optimistic attitude, her genteel, her compassion, her tender innocence. Even when she'd learned of his true family lineage, she hadn't been this abrasive or this tragic. She'd at least retained her personality then.

He could barely recognize her now.

"Shiemi," Rin began, unsure of really what to say. He wracked his brain for the right words that would reassure her. He wasn't a hero. He didn't know the answer to everything. He wasn't smart or calm like his brother Yukio. He was brash, ill-tempered, quick to anger, and quite the moron, according to some. He was putting his heart on the line, as well as Shiemi's, and the thought sobered him. Yes, maybe he could get through this. Both of them. Together.

Rin took a long breath in and exhaled. He would tell her that he would be there for her, and he would do his best to help her through this and give her time to heal.

Instead, he blurted out, "I love you."

* * *

_ Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato _


	11. Singing

Part 11: Singing

Oh no.

Oh no.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no._

_He hadn't meant to say that._

He could've said anything and not feel as exposed as he did now. Anything. Anything at all. Anything at all besides  _what he had just said._

How was he going to get himself out of this mess? He didn't dare look at Shiemi for fear of her reaction. No, he couldn't bear the humiliation of her disgust or rejection of his sudden confession.

Rin closed his eyes.  _This wasn't happening. It has to be a dream. Please be a dream. I'm still stuck in bed at the dorms, and I fell asleep…_

He let the blackness smother him, willing it to wipe away the current situation on his hands. But this only seemed to incite it. Taking away his vision heightened his other senses. He could hear their breathing, her breaths coming out at first fast, gradually slowing down as time passed. He could hear his own breaths rushing out in quiet pants in his panicked state. He could hear their heartbeats hammering in their chests. He could smell her…

Her natural scent of flowers from her garden had faded, but he can still smell it, along with the earthy smell of freshly-turned soil, faint but still there. It somehow gave him hope.

And yet, the body odor clouded her, and there's something about it that bothered him…but why? Rin isn't one to be deterred by the musk of sweat. He's a perfectly healthy fighting boy. He knows the smell of sweat well and welcomes it with open arms. So why does it bother him with Shiemi…?

There's something underneath it. There's something that stinks of rot, a scent he knew from the demons he's faced. Amaimon, perhaps? Could the Earth King have left his scent on her?

But no, that wouldn't make sense. His scent would have faded by now, especially after all of the showers Shiemi took…

_That's it._

The clues clicked together like puzzle pieces. Why would Shiemi smell like sweat when Rin specifically recalled that Yukio had told him that Shiemi constantly showered? Maybe it was night sweats from the nightmares, he guessed. Maybe it was just simply too hot and humid in the small room without air conditioning in the middle of summer. Hell, he was already sweating, too. But that didn't explain the rotting smell…

All of his senses were telling him  _wrong, wrong, it's all wrong._ The smell was a red flag, but he couldn't seem to place why...

In any case, he needed to call for Yukio. His instincts were screaming at him that something was up. Was she possessed and the smell was from the demon occupying her body? But for some reason he couldn't tell like usual, and he thought maybe that a demonic possession possibly left from Amaimon's touch and Shiemi's shattered mental state that left her vulnerable—he didn't think that was it, as likely as that was.

All thoughts of his love confession were quickly forgotten as Rin shot up from his place on the bed and stalked to the door.

"I have to go," he said agitatedly. "Stay here."

"Rin, wait—"

But Rin didn't hang around. He nearly slammed the door shut behind him before rushing outside to the main house to find Yukio, almost tripping ten times and succeeding five before making it to the back door of the shop and stepping breathlessly inside.

"Nii-san?"

Rin looked up from his bent-over position as he heaved for air in the entryway, spotting his slightly confused-looking younger twin brother sitting on a pillow cushion across a low table from Shiemi's mother, a cup of tea halfway to his mouth.

"Shiemi…" Rin wheezed, still out of breath from his dash to the house. "I can smell…smell of rot…demons…?"

"What?" Yukio bolted up into a standing position, facing his brother fully, his expression deathly serious. "A rotting smell? What do you mean?"

"I don't know…if it's demons…possessing her, but…I could smell her body odor…and then a rotting smell underneath it…"

"Tch." Yukio frowned, and then turned to address Shiemi's mother. "Madam, if you wouldn't mind waiting here where it's safe? I'll take care of this."

Shiemi's mother nodded, remaining seated at the table with a grim expression plastered to her face as she watched the Okumura brothers.

Yukio made his way to Rin and pulled at his brother's sleeve, towing Rin behind him as he stepped over the threshold and marched outside over to Shiemi's room by the garden.

Once there, Yukio made Rin stay outside Shiemi's door while Yukio assessed the situation and tended to her. However, this didn't stop Rin from pressing his ear to the door, listening with his keen hearing to the sounds of Yukio shuffling about the floor, Shiemi's sheets rustling, of a stern voice.

" _Shiemi…"_ Yukio gasped after pulling the sheets back from Shiemi's body, or so Rin surmised from the whispering cloth that signaled the shifting of Shiemi's blankets.

There was a moment of silence before either of the two in the room spoke.

" _Did you rip off the bandages after I left this morning?"_ Yukio asked.

There was no reply. Yukio sighed.

" _I told you not to do that. You keep picking at them,"_ Yukio said sternly.  _"And exposing your wounds like that…it's an open invitation for infection. The coal tar demons in the air will seep into them."_

Again, there was no response. And again, Yukio sighed.

" _I guess it can't be helped,"_ he said, his voice turning gentle.  _"I'll clean them up and re-bandage them. And I'll pray for you, just in case. You're lucky Rin came to get me. Gangrene and blood poisoning isn't pretty, you know."_

Rin heard only silence now behind the door, disrupted only by the faintest of sounds that came from Yukio tending to Shiemi's wounds, such as the tear of gauze and stick of tape and the sloshing of liquid antiseptic inside a bottle. After a moment of uninterrupted silence, Yukio's soft voice began to chant a prayer, almost singing it in his tenderness towards Shiemi.

Moans and groans and small gasps began to erupt from Shiemi, and Rin could smell the rot growing stronger with each passing moment. He thought he could picture the black cloud of possessed dust mites billowing out from under the sterile white bandages, from her mouth and nose. It was a gruesome image, one Rin tried hard not to think about.

A minute of absolute quiet later found Yukio opening the door and knocking over Rin, who'd still been straining to hear the conversation or lack thereof beyond.

"Nii-san," Yukio chastised.

Rin's ears drooped. "I'm sorry."

Yukio's expression softened. "Don't be. If you hadn't said something, it could have been much worse. Thank you."

Rin blushed. "Y-Yeah, I guess."

Awkward silence weighed down on the two before Yukio rudely cleared his throat.

"You may go in and see her again," he said before spinning on his heel and leaving Rin standing nervously outside Shiemi's door.

"O-Oh. Okay," Rin responded too late. Yukio was already out of sight.

Rin turned his gaze to the door, schooling his expression to that of a calmer one, but his eyes shone determinedly. He took a deep breath, inhaling as much clean air as possible, preparing himself before knocking lightly on the door and stepping inside.

* * *

_ Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato _


	12. She Is the Sunlight

Part 12: She is the Sunlight

"Shiemi?"

She looked even more the worse for wear than before. She was sprawled out under the sheets with a single blanket folded across her lap to keep her comfortable, the pillows piled high behind her small head. Her lank hair was pulled back in a fresh bun, and he felt distantly surprised at this, knowing that Yukio had actually known how to do a bun, and that he'd styled Shiemi's hair in such a fashion to keep her cool in the humidity. There were bandages on her whole body, partially hidden beneath the sleeves of her loose gray T-shirt.

But at least she was sitting up and looking at him, eyes wary like a rabbit's.

"Shiemi," Rin began after taking a breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take off like that, but I thought—I thought something was wrong and I needed to get help—because dammit, I'm helpless when it comes to those sort of things. I'm okay at fighting if it comes to that—but rituals? Healing people? I can't—I can't do that because…I'm a  _monster_ , okay? I couldn't help you, and I'm sorry, Shiemi. I'm sorry for leaving you alone like that."

His head was down, staring at his toes, but she was still looking at him carefully. She had the feeling that he wasn't just talking about earlier when he'd suddenly bolted. The remorse was too heavy in his voice for that.

He was also referring to the time back at his dorm with Amaimon…

Her eyes were starting to get blurry from the latent tears. She blinked a few times, dispelling them. Because really, she didn't blame Rin. She knew he tried hard to protect her. It was the fact she couldn't seem to protect herself that made her so angry. She was mad at  _herself_ , if anything.

Besides just that, Shiemi couldn't bring herself to forget his words before he'd left her.  _I love you._ Three words could make her blush so scarlet, embarrassed and ashamed. Uncertain. Disappointed.

Because she knew Rin hadn't said those words out of romantic feelings for her. No, they were the comforting words of a friend stating his depth of friendly camaraderie for his ally. He'd said them to reassure her of his unwavering friendship, no more and no less, a gesture she'd appreciated, but somehow left her feeling hollow, as if her heart had been carved out of her chest. She didn't know what her bitterness meant, but she knew it would become a wedge that would drive her and Rin apart in the future, a thought that frightened her even beyond the fear she'd felt because of Amaimon.

Shiemi could deny all she wanted that she was disappointed because she'd wanted Rin to love her unplatonically, but the truth was that she'd be lying to herself. Shiemi was weak and cowardly and she loved him. Oh, how she dearly loved Rin Okumura.

And she wished she could tell him that, but it was so hard. Her throat would close and she'd start crying. She didn't want him to apologize. She didn't want to hear that he didn't love her like that. She didn't want to hear that he only had eyes for Izumo. She would sob and scream and shatter again. She didn't want him to see that. She knew Rin would only blame himself.

So instead, Shiemi kept her silence.

* * *

Rin bunched the blankets under his fisted hands, anxiety seeming to get the better of him. He could feel the small amounts of adrenaline snaking through him, tensing his muscles and trip-hammering his heart.

_Why won't she say anything?_

Oh, God, if she would only say something.  _Anything._ The silence between them was not only awkward as hell, but the longer it was drawn out, the more he could feel an almost tangible gulf growing, driving them farther away from each other.

Was it because of what he said?

Did she not accept his apology? Could she not forgive him? Or was there something else…?

Oh. His love confession.

Rin felt his ears burn, drooping like wilted flowers in shame.

Shiemi didn't feel the same way.

And Rin didn't know what to do…what to say…to compensate or possibly overshadow his words. How to make her forget…?

No. How to make her smile.

And then he remembered the flower in his pocket.

* * *

Rin smiled curiously at her. He brought the dandelion out from his pocket and proudly presented it to her, slightly too close to her nose. Shiemi went cross-eyed trying to look at it.

"What is that?" she asked, confused.

"A dandelion," he said, still smiling. "It's a flower. For you."

He allowed her to take it, her taking care not to touch his hand with her own. He tried not to let his disappointment at this show, keeping his smile.

She stared at it warily, twirling it between thumb and forefinger. Finally she glanced up at him. At seeing his hopeful expression, she sighed, dropping her gaze.

"Rin," Shiemi said, her tone weary and with just a tint of self-loathing. "This is a weed. Not a flower."

He waited for her customary apology of  _I'm sorry, Rin._ But it didn't come.

This time his smile wavered, forming into a frown. "Oh," he said stupidly. "I didn't know."

Shiemi stopped spinning the weed, holding it still in her hand, forming a fist around the stem. He could see the pain behind the gesture.

Rin tilted his head, wracking his brain for ideas to say something and save the moment. His brow furrowed in thought. "Isn't there a legend or something like that where you hold it under someone's chin, and if their chin turns yellow or whatever, that means they're in love?"

The half-demon's eyes searched Shiemi's downcast ones for a response. She closed them, shutting him out. She pinched her lips together and frowned.

"That's buttercups, Rin," she said, not unkindly, but with a hint of sadness that pained him. "Not dandelions."

For her sake, Rin wouldn't allow his resolve to crack now—not after all that he went through to get this far—so close as to be sitting next to her, talking to her, and her talking back. She'd made progress from being silent save for her cries to actually communicating with words to him. He couldn't back down now.

Rin shrugged, attempting to look nonchalant. "Whatever," he said. "It's worth a shot, right? I mean, might as well. There can't be  _that_ much of a difference, can there?"

The corner of her lips twitched.

 _There,_ he thought.  _A reaction. Finally._

Even if she wanted to laugh because he was an idiot, what did he care? He just wanted her to laugh again. He yearned to hear that sweet music, if only just one last time.

"Here." Rin held out his hand for the dandelion.

After a moment of hesitation, she placed the yellow weed in his hand, careful as ever not to touch him.

He didn't let the thought of her aversion to touching him hurt him. He had to focus on the task ahead.

The half-demon slowly let his arm stretch out until the buttery blossom hovered just underneath Shiemi's chin. He squinted his eyes and leaned somewhat closer to see the skin better, trying to make out any hint of the dandelion's golden reflection glowing on her flesh.

He had failed to notice her breathing stop when he pressed closer to her. Her eyes squeezed shut as she felt his warmth draw nearer, heating her skin into a searing blush. She was too scared to think that maybe it wasn't just the warmth of his body that was making her flush.

Finally, she couldn't handle the silence anymore—she was drowning, suffocating in it. She still couldn't breathe.

"Do you see anything?" Shiemi asked, forcing herself to keep the tremble out of her voice.

"I…I don't know," he said, still squinting at her chin. "I can't tell."

It was so faint, he couldn't be for sure. He thought he saw just a hint of yellow washed onto her skin, but he didn't want to assume.

Rin raised his eyes to meet her own uneasy gaze. A little shock went through him at the look, but he refused to let his guilt show. He pulled back from her, realizing too late that their close proximity had likely made her uncomfortable.

"Um…let me try…?!" The girl snatched in an almost desperate fashion the dandelion from his hand and pushed it under his jaw.

"U-Um, I'm not s-so, sure that's a, uh, good idea," Rin stuttered. His face was flushing a deep crimson, taking no notice of her equally flustered state. "Uh, Shiemi—"

He tried to back away from her reach, but Shiemi frowned, pausing.

"Rin, please? I…I want to see…" Shiemi cursed herself for her stutter.

He faltered under her, what with her flushed cheeks and shy yet persistent look…still. "I-It's not—look that's not really—uh—the best of…. ideas…Shiemi?"

Rin trailed off. He watched her in horror as tremors began to wrack her. His heart dropped as the first tears fell down from her nose to the blankets.

"Why…not…? I-Is it…is it…a-are y-y-you…" Her hiccups and gasps left most of her words garbled, but he was able to make out a few whispered words—" _disgusted by me_?"

Rin's arm seemed to spring into action of its own accord. He was just so, so  _angry_. Never at her, no! Rather, he was angry with himself for not being there for her. He was angry at whatever god there was that seemed incapable of mercy for this innocent, wholesome girl crying in despair before him. But most of all, he was angry with Amaimon, for being the catalyst to all of this suffering he'd caused. Rin's mind was not rational when he reached out and firmly grasped Shiemi's wrist, his grim, yet passionate look brooking Shiemi no argument.

Shiemi didn't panic like Rin vaguely thought she might in the back of his clouded head. She seemed to sense Rin meant her no harm, albeit she flinched faintly at the sudden movement and harshness of his gaze.

Seeing this, Rin's grip slackened ever so slightly around her wrist as he drew her hand to his face, all the while staring steadily at her.

He was trying to prove a point by doing this, Shiemi realized. He wasn't disgusted with her at all. So why hadn't he wanted her to look at his chin? Maybe Rin was shy? Oh, but then she shouldn't have pushed him to play the game—!

"Shiemi," Rin said, effectively silencing her thoughts and consequently any guilt that was about to take hold of her.

Rin inhaled through his nose as he closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts before pushing on.

Shiemi waited, but Rin didn't say anything after that breath. Instead, he brought her wrist under his jaw, the flower trapped in her hand brushing his neck lightly, causing him to exhale in sharp sigh.

The reaction puzzled her somewhat, but she soon shrugged it off.

_Ticklish?_

The thought tugged at the corners of her lips, and she mentally giggled at the possibility.

"Well? See anything?" he prodded. He was blushing furiously.

She was startled a bit by his sudden voice, but quickly caught the hint.

Shiemi held the blossom under his chin, inspecting his red skin. It shone bright orange above the dandelion. Shiemi wondered at its intensity.

" _Rin,"_ she whispered, her gaze still glued to his jaw. She lifted her eyes to study his face.

He forced himself to meet her curious eyes as he felt his ears burn. Because he knew that his chin was glowing.

_He wanted her to know._

Shiemi seemed to have been shocked into silence for a few moments. A heartbeat later, she asked softly, "Who?"

He screwed his eyes shut tight. He silently gathered his resolve for a moment, but found to his dismay that Shiemi beat him to it.

"Is it Izumo?" She wasn't looking at him anymore.

Rin looked up at her with sad blue eyes. "No." He gave her that much, at least.

She let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding.  _So it wasn't Izumo._

Rin wanted to be brave. He wanted to tell her that it was  _her_ he was in love with. But he knew now wasn't the right time. They'd been through so much— _too_ much. They needed a drama-free break. They needed to be there for each other—as friends.

Yet…yet he wanted to let her know. He thought that she deserved that much.

* * *

_Who do you love?_

Shiemi wanted to scream the question at him, but bit her tongue. Because the longer she looked at him, the more intense his gaze became. His star-blue eyes flashing with shame and a strange determination. But there was something else…something beneath the humility. There was respect, admiration, and…love…?

But he was staring at  _her._ Aiming those emotions at her. She knew his attention was entirely focused on her and nothing else at the moment because his gaze never wavered from hers.

"Shiemi…" Rin began carefully, softly. "It's…you. Always been you," he muttered.

_Me?_

_But then—is he saying…?_

So then…did that mean…?

Did Rin…really…love her…?

If so, then she was ecstatic, of course. But there was also the confusion, the self-loathing, the underdevelopment of her feelings and sense of inadequacy. She felt she was not worth Rin's love, but she was too selfish to let it go without reciprocation. A confirmation. A mutual understanding.

And…she wanted  _him._ She wanted everything he had to offer, despite her self-hate, despite the fact that she  _felt_  she  _knew_ she was not good enough for him. She needed him, by her side, to save her and hold her when she fell. Because she would again. Frequently. She needed him like a flower needed water and sunlight. Rin was her water. He was her sunlight. He was her dear friend. Her dear, selfless, fiercely loyal friend.

And maybe, once she healed, she could be his equal. Just as independent as him. Just like before.

But Shiemi knew she needed time.

* * *

His heart jumped.

_She knew._

He could see it in her. The wonderment, the dawning realization, the sadness.

"I'm sorry," he started to say—dammit, he had  _known_ it was too soon for her—but she interrupted him with her own confession.

"I…I… like you…Rin," she mumbled tentatively. She looked straight at him with a flushed face, causing his own cheeks to redden. Tears were gathering with alarming speed at the corners of her eyes. The words came bubbling out then as her feelings poured forth. "I  _really_ like you. I care so much about you. You're one of my closest friends, and yet there's something about you that's different. I don't know what it is or what half of these feelings I get mean, but I know you mean a lot to me, and I need you. I need you so much. So,  _please_ , will you stay with me?"

Rin pulled her into his arms, his hand on the back of her head and another between her shoulder blades. His fingers subconsciously tangled in her silvery-blonde hair. His hand clenched in her shirt as he embraced her tightly to himself. He knew  _"I love you"_ would be too much to process in one day like this. For now, their affections would be simple. Friends...with a hint of romance.

Rin turned his head and inclined his mouth closer to her so that she could hear his next words.

" _I will always be there for you,"_ he breathed raggedly into her ear.

She seemed to forgo her aversion to touching others as she clutched at him, burying her head into his shoulder and letting the tears fall.

"Thank you," Shiemi smiled into his shirt.

He bent his forehead onto the crook of her shoulder…and sputtered.

"Sorry! I got your hair in my mouth!" he apologized. "Guess your hair smells so nice that I thought it'd taste good, too," he added sheepishly.

She laughed, giggles and snorts and gasps tumbling like a song out of her mouth. Rin laughed with her, enjoying the sound of her chortles and chuckles.

 _I've missed that,_ he thought as his heart jumped in rhythm to her laughter.

Aloud, he said, "You haven't changed."

Shiemi gave a sigh. The words relieved her like a salve to her burns. "Thank you," she murmured.

* * *

_Ao no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist-Kazue Kato_

 


End file.
